Friday, 25 May 2012

The bigger they are, the harder they fall

A few days ago, I wrote a post about having big dreams. Dreaming big, being strong, not giving up. It was all about determination, and how it can help you achieve whatever you wish for.

But I was thinking today, can it really help?

Sometimes, no matte how hard you work, and how determined you are, things still don't work out the way you want. No matter how much we wish to avoid thinking about it, truth is that there does exist something called 'Luck', and it does need to favor you sometimes in order to get things done.

For example, I am working very hard to fulfill my dream. Someday, I hope to be called a writer, and I am working very hard to achieve that. But will my determination be enough?

Sure, just look at J. K. Rowling! That's what my heart says.

And I salute it. After all, the heart often does not know or wish to face reality.

But my brain interrupts and shows me the darker, sadder side of the world. There are people who work all their lives, never to be repaid with any golden result. It kind of makes me rethink whether I should be brave enough to even dream about something so big. Because what if I am not destined to be one?

Thoughts like these bring me down. I won't deny, I am a dreamer. I see dreams even with my eyes open. But sometimes life comes crashing down, and I am forced to come out of my fantasy. What I see does not make me happy. It makes me want to find a deep, dark hole where I can curl up and sleep for eternity, not bothering about anything.

Plainly speaking, I am sad.

When you get rejected at something, it's not a happy feeling. It's painful, it burns through the heart's core, and it breaks your spirit. Sometimes, the spirit is broken so badly that it is beyond repair. The best that can be done about it is to pick up the pieces and hope that it is enough to just carry them till the end of time.

It's not a happy feeling.

Even the sky seemed to be sharing my mood. It seems gloomy and downcast, just as how I feel.

Maybe tomorrow I'll find the courage to stand up on my feet and start fighting my battle anew. Maybe.

But for now, I think I will wallow in self-pity.

Goodnight people of the world. I sincerely hope I am not the only one who is feeling this way. It would be nice to have some company.

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